We have come so far

7 April 2020

When the doors shut. The inability to go out. The weeks & months prior to the lockdown, there have been zero free days. Everyday, dusk till dawn, I was packed. Home became a place just for sleep. The thought of the month long lockdown seemed like a time to finally get some rest. However, the thought of not meeting my significant other and my friends slowly set in. Just for a month. Just 1 month.

For the first few days, I slept so hard. Drooling all over my bed, waking up in the late afternoon for food and other essentials. No worries or commitments. Just pure rest and recalibration. At the point of enough rest, boredom started to sink in. Lost. Not knowing what to do, or what to accomplish. Filling in huge gaps of time with random searches on the internet. Editing, re-editing, repeating the days. As the Covid cases in Singapore increased, so was the severity of the lockdown. The pressure to stay indoors and to not step out.

The extension of the lockdown was the icing on the cake. Tension grew at home. I did not have my own space to escape. I was trapped in my own head. All I could do was give up, but I had nothing to give up. Doing nothing hurts and doing anything else wasn’t productive. At the end of it all, all I could do was bottle it up, and carry on with life as though nothing happened.